Serving up Happiness

If you read my book or some of my other blogs, you will know I do a bit of geocaching, hunting for containers hidden by others who do the sport.

On the trip from Wellington to Napier, I was prompted to stop at several points of interest because there were geocaches to find. There was a lunchbox behind an 1870’s horse and cattle trough, a plastic bottle under the tiny 10 by 10 red wooden store from last century, and a screw top jar at one of the lookouts. I found a hidden picnic park, a rest stop with wild chickens, and sculptures carved out of tree stumps.

I had so much fun in the journey and found places I had passed many times without noticing. I was having a great day, but there was an underlying sadness that spilled out into tears on a long stretch where I had too much time to think.


The Memorial

One relationship has been tough lately and I am trying to keep busy and not think about it. I am trying to concentrate on what is going right in my life, and I am generally happy, but sometimes it hits me all at once and I am sad again.

While I was feeling sorry for myself I stopped at the next geocache. It was near a large monolith type memorial to our fallen soldiers. It was very remote for such an imposing structure. I took out my camera but something didn’t seem right.

It was sadly neglected and full of waist high weeds. I know how much I personally benefit from the freedom that I have. Much of that is thanks to those who were willing to go out and fight for justice and freedom.



Then I thought of the goals I had just set for myself. “Health” “Wealth” (I just need an income not a fortune) and “Contribution.” I want to contribute more. Do daily good deeds. Show more kindness.

I got to and pulled some weeds, glad I was in my usual casual explore clothes and shoes and wishing I had some gloves with me.

It was hot work. I cleared away all the larger weeds but left the small ones; there were just too many. I took away the empty yoghurt pot, but left the weeds to rot into the grass. It wasn’t a great job, but the memorial looked a whole lot better when I took the photo.

What surprised me the most was the change in my attitude.

Just ten minutes before I had been having a little cry over a problem I was having. As I left the memorial I was smiling and happy. I was also energised.

Contribution is not just about helping other people. It is about bringing out the humanity in myself and being a better person. It is about getting past my own troubles and realising I am luckier than most. It is about being connected to others and less introspective.

I have heard many times that we love those we serve. I have noticed we also love ourselves more when we serve. And… we are happier.

Six Ways to Overcome Rejection

The path to happiness is not easy and smooth. Sometimes we feel rejected, and that can make a serious dent in our happiness.

Just a few years ago I was happily employed as a middle level manager. I had a good income, a company car, a laptop and phone, and nice people to work with.

Then one day I was made redundant.

It was a real blow and it felt like a personal insult.

I was assured the redundancy was not performance related. The organisation was restructuring to cope with the recession, and I did not have the right qualification for the new role, but I took it badly I still felt miserable, rejected and humiliated.

It took most of the weekend, but I managed to find a way to overcome the rejection and hurt, and to move into a better space. These are some processes that helped me not only cope, but thrive.

Look for the positive in the situation.

I asked myself what were the benefits of my situation. My first happy thought was that I would no longer have to work with my immediate manager who was difficult and made life stressful for all around her.

I was also thankful I was not responsible for supporting a family.

Make new plans.

Rejection often changes our plans for the future, so make some new ones. I took full advantage of free retraining that was offered and made plans to move overseas to be closer to family and friends.

Don’t take it too personally.

Most rejection says more about the other person than about you. I was made redundant because the senior management decided that the person in my role needed a qualification I didn’t have. Other times people lash out at each other because they feel bad.

Being rejected is part of life and does not mean we can not be perfectly acceptable somewhere else. While I felt unwanted and unappreciated at first, I chose to see it as a business decision and not a personal insult.

Consider how it affects others.

Are others affected too? My workmates were the ones who had to stay and cope with my job as well as theirs. They also had to manage the difficult boss. Thinking about others helped me feel less sorry for myself and it took my mind off my own difficulties.

Accept the inevitable.

One of my colleagues decided to fight her redundancy. It made her last few weeks bitter and unhappy and she still had to leave. By all means fight rejection if it is unjust, but if the situation is unchangeable, accept it, and work with it.

Trust it happened for a reason and can be over come.

Life is always changing, and the only option is to keep moving. Say to yourself; where is this challenge going to lead? If you have trouble with this, look for others that have gone through the same rejection and succeeded.

In my case I didn’t have to look too far. My husband had started his own successful business after he was made redundant.

I started travelling and house sitting. I love what I do now and I wouldn’t go back for any amount of money. Both people who worked in my office have also moved on because of the manager. I might have been lucky to get out when I did.

Taking this road instead of the “poor me” route takes courage and perseverance. It is sometimes easier to fall in a heap and feel sorry for ourselves.

After thinking things through my situation using this process, I went into work for my final few weeks feeling cheerful and happy. I was the one smiling and my workmates were the ones feeling anxious about the changes.

With a few simple techniques and the right attitude, it is possible to overcome rejection and even turn it into something positive.

Now I have a new life that I love so much I wrote a book about it called "HouseSitting in Australia."

We all get rejected some times, but with the right mindset we can move on quickly.

Happiness or Success

Some people wonder if they should pursue happiness or success. They think it is an either/or world; we work hard and sacrifice for our success and we enjoy happiness when we can. These people may only allow themselves to be happy two weeks a year when on holiday, or worse, decide to delay happiness until some specified point in the future.

It’s a shame.

Happiness is the point of our existence. It is not the goal, but is found in the everyday experiences of working towards meaningful goals.

The joy is in the journey and reaching the goal can sometimes bring an emptiness we don’t expect. We stop and wonder, …. Now what do we do? Is this all there is?

Have you noticed that a surprising number of famous people at the peak of their careers are not happy? Sometimes, they are so unhappy they commit suicide. It is possible to have everything you have ever wanted and to be a success in the eyes of the world and yet life can seem meaningless. Success is not a guarantee of happiness.

If you are successful and not happy, is that really success?

If you are a happy even though you are not seen as successful, isn’t that its own type of success?

Bertrand Russell wrote, “The happiness that is genuinely satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realisation of the world in which we live”.

Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It is using our talents and abilities and making a difference in the world

And happy people are much more likely to be successful. Happiness can definitely be found on the road to success. If it isn’t found on the road you are on, … maybe …. just maybe …you are on the wrong road.

Happiness or success? A happy life is a successful life. So …. It’s happiness every time. And then, like a shadow … success will follow.

I think to be happy in life, is to be successful. What do you think?

Explore Life and Expand your World

Whenever I tell people what I do for a living, they often respond with “I would love to do that.”

I am a house sitter. I live in lovely homes all over Brisbane and the Gold Coast. I pay no rent and my phone and internet use is free. It all seems too good to be true and when I first heard of it, I thought so too.

“I couldn’t do that.” I thought and put it aside.

Years later I found out that I can do that, and it is every bit as good as I thought it would be. I move to a different area every month or so and explore everything. It is like being on permanent holiday.

I have free accommodation and the home owners have the security of knowing that their cats, dogs, fish, chickens or even miniature ponies are being fed and cared for in the familiar setting of their own home.

It is a great life.

Is there anything you want to do and have not done?

Why?

Sometimes we put off things we want to do thinking we have to do it tough. No pain no gain is an out-dated notion. There are people all over the world that do what they love and they are happy.

People make money painting pictures and others by scuba diving. Some make handbags, or walk dogs, or write blogs, or teach pre-schoolers or farm ducks or milk snakes. Why not you?

The other day I met people working with porpoises and a married couple that make and sell Dutch clogs.

What is there in your life that you would love to do but are not doing?

Maybe you can’t do it now but you can read a book about it, or take a class or search the internet for information. You could join a club or attend meetings of those in your chosen field. If you know someone doing what you would like to do, invite them to have lunch with you.

Or, …. invite several people to have lunch with you and explore lots of possibilities.

No matter what your situation, you can take a little time each day to do something out of your usual routine, something bold and adventurous and interesting.

Sometimes people ask me how I got into house sitting and express an interest. Very few ask for details. Get the information you need and get ready to expand your world.

Lessons from a Fish - A Sense of Wonder

Last night I was watching a fascinating TV documentary on fish. There are fish that have lengthy fins that allow them to fly over the water for long distances and who lay their eggs on a floating raft. There are fish that eat from the mouths of a Hippopotamus and others that scratch themselves against the sides of rough sides of sharks to get rid of their parasites. This world is a marvellous place. It amazes me how I can have been alive for fifty years and learning and being aware and still find out new things every day.

A sense of wonder is a key element in being happy and in having fun. Happy people are curious; they explore and learn something every day. People with a sense of wonder are never bored. We wonder where this road leads and what this lever does and if this leaf is edible. We poke and prod and test things and see what happens when we change things around.

We want to know what the universe is made of and what Mars looks like on the surface. We want to watch the ladybirds up close and see what those tiny little seeds hold inside. Happy people find joy in their lives by looking for things to enjoy about right where they are.

If your job is boring, explore options. Can you do it quicker, or better, or differently? If you are trapped in an unhappy situation, what else could you focus on to help the time pass? Keep your sense of wonder and curiosity. It will not only make you happier, but it will also keep you young.

Have a happy week. Nikki

Happiness is it’s own reward and leads to more happiness. Even pretending to be happy can make us happier. Consider the following story.

In 1875 a cleaning woman named Mary St. Clair had saved £60 and hidden it at home. Her ex husband arrived in town and soon after her money went missing. Mary was naturally very angry and wanted her money back but when the local constable arrived, she was arrested for swearing. When he heard her story he then went on to declare her a lunatic and had her locked her up in the local gaol.

I can sort of picture Mary as an angry person, standing up for her rights and giving the constable a piece of her mind. She might have been yelling or screaming or stamping her feet. It is unlikely that she was standing serenely trying to explain the situation calmly.

Our actions don’t usually have such sever consequences, but they certainly lead to the repsonses we get. A naturally happy person who lost a large sum of money would spend time trying to get it back. The anger would be tempered by the knowledge that anger should be channeled into useful action. A happy person is more likely to be believed, trusted and assisted.

An unhappy person believes things will end badly and so helps bring to pass the very thing they don’t want. Our actions affect others reactions and there is nothing we can do about it.

There is a saying that “whether you think you can or think you can’t you are right”. I would add that “whether you think you are happy or think you are sad, you are right”. We are only as happy as we choose to be and if we choose happiness, then we bring more of it into our lives.

Mary spent two weeks in the miserable conditions of that gaol, before they realised she was sane and she was allowed to go home. That was a high price to pay for allowing herself to get so carried away with anger that a constable thought she was insane.

Bad things will still happen to happy people, challenges and sometimes tragedy are part of life, but if we can just belive that we are happy, then we have much more chance of making it come true. I know that from personal experience.

Have a happy day - Nikki

Activating Happiness

There are so many wonderful things to do in life; hobbies, sports, travel, crafts, games, Facebook, social events and so much more. Any one of these can add to our happiness.

But it is also possible for hobbies and sport to interfere with our happiness. Take a minute to consider the questions below and see whether you are creating as much happiness as you could.

   Is there anything in your life which is taking too much time, attention or space?

   Do others complain about the time you are spending on your activity?

   Is anything important being neglected because of other good things that take too much time?

   Are you spending too much time on things that used to make you happy but now make you anxious?

   Are you spending money you don’t have on things you can live without?

If any of these apply to you, then it might be time to slow down, take a break or stop taking part completely. Rest and relaxation are an important part of a happy life and happiness will not last long when there is obsession or addiction.

Neither will happiness last if you have a dull routine. If you find yourself doing the same things week after week, it may be time to add a few different activities to your life. Try something new, experience new things or see new places. It can be as simple as trying a new recipe or reading a new book, or as exotic as planning a round the world cruise. Change can be stimulating and refreshing.

Happiness is not found in never ending business or in mindless inactivity. It is found somewhere in between. Take some time to reconsider how you spend your leisure time and you might just increase your level of the greatest currency there is. Happiness