The Art of Snake Handling

Since my move to Australia, my life has changed dramatically.

In New Zealand I never got bitten by paper wasps that made my skin swell into a hard red balloon shape and there were fewer mosquitos. I could sit on the grass without getting covered in ants and my legs never got covered in so many itchy red spots that I looked like a connect-the-dots puzzle.

In New Zealand there were also no snakes. Since moving to Australia, I have had close encounters with several large snake, and last week I had a python in my living room.

It was six or seven feet long, grey brown with a diamond patterned top and white underbelly. I left the door open and it must have followed the sound of my TV, right into the room where I was sitting. It then slid into a quiet corner, curled up with its head inside its body, and went to sleep.

What to do?

I had three options. I could

1. Ignore it and hope it would go away by itself.

2. Learn to live with it. Find out what it eats, and what else it needs, and then make the most of having a pet snake.

3. Get some friends over to help me remove it

Of course I chose number three.

We are always going to have metaphorical “snakes” in our lives, so we have to choose how to handle them.

We can;

1. Ignore the problem as much as possible. Focus on other things so as to maintain our happiness.

2. Learn ways to lessen the impact. Find out how other people cope with similar issues. Take regular breaks from the problem. Learn more about the problem. Is it as bad as it seems? Perhaps there is another way to look at it? Just as many people enjoy snakes and even have them as pets, perhaps many people would be happy to have your problem. What are the positives?

3. If you have the option, remove the problem.

Just don’t spend time hating the problem. It is not productive. Do something to change it, move away from it, or just accept it.

Learning to cope with life’s problems will make you happier.

It's Okay to be Ordinary

When I was young, there were times when my brothers and sister and I all had our own ideas of what we should be doing. I wanted to play “Cowboys and Indians”, my sister wanted to play “hide and seek” and my brother just wanted to be given a horsey ride. We argued, each one of us trying to get our own way and to be the boss of the others. My dad used to say there were too many chiefs and not enough Indians.


An important lesson in life is to learn to be happy when others seem to have the lead role. All of us have our own part to play and for most of us it will not include fame and glory. For most of us today is just another day at the office, another day being a mother, or caring for aging parents. For most of us each day seems ordinary, unexciting, and maybe even boring, and that is okay.

Sometimes you should be the person who takes the lead, but more often you won’t.

We remember Mother Theresa, but her work was amplified by those willing to help her in her cause. The world needs more ordinary, everyday people doing everyday roles, just as much as it needs talented leaders.

While you can sometimes change your role to make yourself happier, other times you just need to roll up your sleeves and to bloom where you are planted.

Have fun with the work you have to do, no matter how menial, or unexciting it may seem.

The world is full of ordinary people and that is perfectly okay.

Nice is the New Nasty

When I was a teenager, if we really liked something we called it “grouse” or “choice”.

Later, when my sons were teenagers and Michael Jackson was the world’s musical role model, it was a compliment to call someone "nasty". It meant clever, maybe a little sneaky, but overall, very, very good. It was also a compliment to call someone “phat”.

Most of that time, “nice” was a bad word. It meant that you were quiet, unassuming, and perhaps a little simple. To call someone “nice” was to write them off as being boring and naïve.

In the movie “Grease”, Sandy was not attractive until she began to dress in skin tight pants and ground a cigarette butt under her high heels. It seemed like the bold and the brave, those who took what they wanted, had all the fun, while nice girls stayed home alone.

Recently I read a book called “The Power of Nice”. It has a wealth of examples of how nice people are happier, healthier, and often more fulfilled as people.

I love it. There is real power in being nice. It benefits the recipient of the nice acts but also the giver. Nice has always been a good quality to have.

Is there someone you need to be nicer to? What can you do to make the world a better place? Can you pay someone’s parking meter, smile at the bank clerk, or donate to a charity?

You owe it to yourself to enjoy the benefits of being nice to others.

N is for nice.

Happiness or Success

Some people wonder if they should pursue happiness or success. They think it is an either/or world; we work hard and sacrifice for our success and we enjoy happiness when we can. These people may only allow themselves to be happy two weeks a year when on holiday, or worse, decide to delay happiness until some specified point in the future.

It’s a shame.

Happiness is the point of our existence. It is not the goal, but is found in the everyday experiences of working towards meaningful goals.

The joy is in the journey and reaching the goal can sometimes bring an emptiness we don’t expect. We stop and wonder, …. Now what do we do? Is this all there is?

Have you noticed that a surprising number of famous people at the peak of their careers are not happy? Sometimes, they are so unhappy they commit suicide. It is possible to have everything you have ever wanted and to be a success in the eyes of the world and yet life can seem meaningless. Success is not a guarantee of happiness.

If you are successful and not happy, is that really success?

If you are a happy even though you are not seen as successful, isn’t that its own type of success?

Bertrand Russell wrote, “The happiness that is genuinely satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realisation of the world in which we live”.

Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It is using our talents and abilities and making a difference in the world

And happy people are much more likely to be successful. Happiness can definitely be found on the road to success. If it isn’t found on the road you are on, … maybe …. just maybe …you are on the wrong road.

Happiness or success? A happy life is a successful life. So …. It’s happiness every time. And then, like a shadow … success will follow.

I think to be happy in life, is to be successful. What do you think?

Boost your Happiness Immediately

Happiness can seem fleeting but since it really is a state of mind there are things we can do immediately to change our happiness levels.  Here is one that may seem surprising.

Life up the corners of your mouth. That's it..... Just act like you are smiling and your body thinks you are. There is a physiological effect that makes you instantly feel happier.

Yesterday I was out walking without a coat and it began raining. I began to get wet and soggy and I was feeling rather sorry for myself. I tried this little trick and it worked for me just like it has in the past.

Just try it....

And ... let me know how it works for you.