I have spoken to several friends who all agree that the end of their marriage was not when they began to argue. The marriage deteriorated quickly when the problems were still there but they stopped arguing about them. The rot set in when the numbness and apathy set in.
Emotions are healthy. They keep us tuned into what is going wrong in our life and what is going right. Emotions are a natural part of what makes us human.
We learn about ourselves and about others through emotional experiences. They are a valuable part of who we are.
The healthy way to deal with an emotion is to accept it, express it and then get over it.
First, acknowledge you feel this way. Allow yourself to be human. Look deeper and ask yourself what is at the root of this emotion.
If you are angry, then ask yourself why? Is it that your husband is late again or that you haven’t had enough time with him lately?
Are you sad because you did not get the promotion or because you feel rejected?
Emotions can be complicated and sometimes it pays to look deeper to find what is really going on. Ask yourself if there is anything else under the feeling. Take as much time as you need.
When you are ready, express it. Share it with someone you trust.
I am angry with you. I am feeling miserable. I am so tired.
Make it an “I” message not a “you” message. It is your feeling. The other person can probably tell how you feel. Letting them know is often more helpful than keeping it to yourself.
Then let it go.
If you are angry, say so and then move on. If you are sad, take some time to grieve and then move on.
Don’t let unexpressed emotions become a tight little ball in your chest. It is almost impossible to be happy this way.
Honour yourself by being open to your emotions and sharing them appropriately and safely.
E is for Embrace your Emotions
(This post is part of the A-Z challenge. If you wish to know more, please click the link on the right of this page.)