G is for Gorgeous Girls in Gilded Garments

Okay the title is a bit fanciful, even for a daily A-Z blog.  

I am referring to the magazine models. They all look so skinny and so pretty, with flawless skin, and airbrushed to perfection.

I saw a documentary once, and watched the photographers work with some photos.

They didn’t just clean up skin imperfections, but sliced inches off the sides of thighs, enlarged the eyes, and elongated the legs. They smoothed out laugh lines, plumped up lips, and deepened check bones, all with computer software.

But the rest of us don’t want to look like the pictures in magazines do we?

We all know the pictures are often not real at all.

But without even realizing it we can take it all in and it makes us feel less.

Are your thighs too big? For what? How big should they be? Who says?

Are you too short? Too fat? Too thin? Again, for who?

It is time to celebrate who you are; real woman (or man) with all your uniqueness and quirkiness.

Don’t compare. Don’t judge. Just notice the wonder that is you; the marvel that is your fully functioning human body. The way your eyes work. The way your lungs breathe without your conscious mind noticing. The way you can hear, and taste, and smell.

Celebrate yourself.  And smile.

(This blog is part of the A-Z challenge. To find out more please follow the link on the right) 

F is for Fulfilling Friendships

Recently I caught up with a friend I had not seen in years. It was so much fun catching up. We found out how much we still had in common, including divorce, wayward kids, and big plans for the future.

After talking for hours I left her house energized, excited, and motivated to set and achieve new goals.

Why did it take me so long to call her?

Friends are the jam in the sandwich of life. They allow us to vent, to boast, to laugh, and to learn. Friends share evenings out, helpful advice, good times, and sometimes see us through bad times.

Friends can be family we choose ourselves, or acquaintances we meet once and never see again.

We all need our friends.

If you have been neglecting your friends, consider planning some time together. Go bowling, have lunch together, or just make a phone call.

Life can be so much happier when you share it with friends.

Marianne Williamson says, “We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we are not extending in the present.”

Find a friend, and share the love.

(This blog is part of the A-Z challenge. To know more follow the link on the right of the page) 

E is for Embrace Emotions

I have spoken to several friends who all agree that the end of their marriage was not when they began to argue. The marriage deteriorated quickly when the problems were still there but they stopped arguing about them. The rot set in when the numbness and apathy set in.

Emotions are healthy. They keep us tuned into what is going wrong in our life and what is going right. Emotions are a natural part of what makes us human.

We learn about ourselves and about others through emotional experiences. They are a valuable part of who we are.

The healthy way to deal with an emotion is to accept it, express it and then get over it.

First, acknowledge you feel this way. Allow yourself to be human. Look deeper and ask yourself what is at the root of this emotion.

If you are angry, then ask yourself why? Is it that your husband is late again or that you haven’t had enough time with him lately?

Are you sad because you did not get the promotion or because you feel rejected?

Emotions can be complicated and sometimes it pays to look deeper to find what is really going on. Ask yourself if there is anything else under the feeling. Take as much time as you need.

When you are ready, express it. Share it with someone you trust.

I am angry with you. I am feeling miserable. I am so tired.

Make it an “I” message not a “you” message. It is your feeling. The other person can probably tell how you feel. Letting them know is often more helpful than keeping it to yourself.

Then let it go.

If you are angry, say so and then move on. If you are sad, take some time to grieve and then move on.

Don’t let unexpressed emotions become a tight little ball in your chest. It is almost impossible to be happy this way.

Honour yourself by being open to your emotions and sharing them appropriately and safely.

E is for Embrace your Emotions

(This post is part of the A-Z challenge. If you wish to know more, please click the link on the right of this page.)

D is for Death – Finding Motivation in a Cemetery

I am one of those people that love cemeteries. I love to read the short memorials and imagine what their lives were like.

Recently in an old cemetery I found;

•       A six month old buried with her grandfather
•       A mother who died when she had eight young children
•      A family that lost four children in two years

It made me grateful to be me. I am grateful for healthy children, access to modern medical care, and incredibly grateful just to be alive.

I had an experience that also reminded me how lucky I was when I was pregnant with my first son.

Our neighbours had a beautiful three-year-old boy who was killed when a family member reversed a trailer into him in their own yard. The possibility that my own yet to be born son, might not be with me forever was brought forcefully home that day.

I made these decisions

•   to make the most of the time I had with all my children     
•  to enjoy every moment with them and    
• to teach them to be good citizens who would be loved and respected by others if anything happened to me

Being reminded that life does not last forever helped me get through many a long night with fussy babies.

Does life seem hard? Picture yourself years from now. Will you wish you had made more of this time? Will you be sorry it is gone?

What will people say of you at your funeral? Is the way you live your life now, the way you want to be remembered?

Make the most of your time. Appreciate the opportunity that is yours. Live well. Laugh often. Have fun now.

On the refrigerator in the home where I am staying is a magnet with the saying “whenever life sucks, remember that you are going to die one day.”

Wherever you are in life, enjoy it as much as you can. After all any day above ground is a good one.

Consider your Current Wealth

There was an email going around by an unknown author that says; 

If you woke up this morning
 with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the
 million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experienced
 the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment,
 the agony of torture or
 the pangs of starvation,
 you are ahead of 20 million people
 around the world.

If you can attend a church meeting 
without fear of harassment, 
arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost
 three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over
 your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change 
in a dish someplace, you are among 
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

Now does life look so bad?

Just the fact that you have access to a computer and are reading this tells me that you are one of the world’s wealthy.

With all its ups and downs life is a wonderful opportunity for those of us in developed countries. Make the most of it.

And if you need something else to make you happy, take minute to do a small act of charity for those less fortunate. Donate money for the homeless. Sponsor a child. Write to a soldier. Visit someone in hospital. Pass along a smile.

There is real joy in counting our own blessings and even more joy in helping others less fortunate.

B is for Be Blissfully Happy with Better Beliefs

Yesterday I told you how a change in my attitude moved me towards my dream. A dream I hadn’t even considered was possible until life dealt me some lemons I did not expect.

But what if you believe you can’t change things?

Sometimes we believe the things we want are not open to us. A dream is not possible because we have families, jobs, and other commitments.

What if you think you can’t do something? How can you change your mind?

Is it time for a belief adjustment?

Consider these questions?

Is anyone else doing what you would like to do? 

Is there a creative way of getting what you want without depriving others?

Is it possible you are putting others needs too much ahead of your own?

Is your dream something you can plan for the future?

If you have a young family and would love to travel but feel you can’t, I know people who have;

·      Left their young family including a baby, for six weeks while they travelled (The children were just fine)

·      Taken their children on a long road trip with them and home schooled them

·      Taken five children on a five week overseas trip

·      Waited until their children were grown to sell their house and live in a campervan for years

Don’t let faulty beliefs hold you back. Look at things from an outsider’s point of view. Consider whether some of your beliefs are holding you back. Choose to believe that you deserve happiness.

W. Clement Stone said, "Whatever the mind of man can conceive or believe, it can achieve."

B is for Be Blissfully Happy with Better Beliefs

Adjusting your Attitude for an A+ Life.

Can you imagine a tropical beach? There is sunlight reflecting off the crystal clear water and frangipani scent in the air. A gentle breeze brushes across your bare arms and the sand is warm between your toes.

I had such a holiday once. I went to Fiji and spent my time head down in a lagoon studying the tropical fish through a facemask, exploring the island, and building a tan while lying on warm sandy beaches.

For years I remembered that holiday fondly. In the midst of the humdrum of everyday life, I figured that if I was really lucky, I might get that experience again. Or I might not.

Then one day my life changed dramatically. My marriage broke up and not long after that I lost my job.

I grieved for the loss of my “forever marriage”. I cried about losing a job I loved. I was a mess, but I got over it by changing my attitude.

I began to look at this as a new opportunity. It occurred to me that many people are living my dream of sun, sand, and beaches. Why not me? Suddenly I had options that I never had before. I made the move to a tropical climate.

I followed my dream.

What is it that inspires you? What makes you smile? What would you love to do that you haven’t? What would make you happier? How could you make it happen?

Is it time for you consider an attitude adjustment? Are you moving towards your dream? Do you believe it can happen?

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.”

I know people who have lost their marriage or their jobs and who are still limiting themselves by lamenting lost opportunities. I live in a land of constant sun, powdery sand, and gorgeous tropical beaches.

When I began to believe it could happen, I made it happen.

Maybe you could too. A is for Adjusting your Attitude for an A+ Life.